2.07.2009

I just put in new wallpaper...on the inside

Good evening, children.

I didn't mean for that to come off as creepy as I think it did. I promise I'm not in a windowless van with shag carpeting and candy (or am I?*).

I have a confession to make: I've been cheating on Second to a Sitcom. Yes, it may be shocking. But there comes a time when a girl and her blog just fall out of love. I still love STAS, but I'm just not in love with it anymore. That's the bad news.

The good news is I think I discovered why. STAS has become an obligation. It started out fun and fancy free and now I feel like it's become rather forced. I come home from a long day at work and it's "nag, nag," this and "the kids are hungry" that. I'll write something, come back and read it later and think, "Jee-eeeez, I'm retarded."

This is where the cheating comes in. I've been writing elsewhere instead of here. I actually get nervous to come here. I get cold sweats and my stomach starts somersaulting more than a five-year-old all hyped up on Fun Dip. I feel like STAS is judging me. "I know you've been writing all over town you harlot," I imagine it thinking. It's true though, I'm writing everywhere else except STAS. I'm like an addict; don't care where I get my writing fix as long as I get it. I'll write right here in this dirty alley on a dumpster instead of my nice, sweet, welcoming STAS.

For this I am sorry. To the readers, yes. But mostly to STAS. I'm sorry I done you wrong, baby. But if you take me back, I'll never do you wrong again.

Thus, I am going to do a bit of re-imaging of STAS. Yes, I'll still talk about nonsense. A girl can't be expected to be serious all the time. But I'm also going to talk about whatever comes to my mind and I feel like I need to write down. I like writing to an audience; maybe it's my middle-kid syndrome acting up. Or maybe it's because sometimes late at night when my ego had been inflated to maximum capacity, I think I can write. I don't know. Jury's deadlocked on that one.

STAS will go forward, but not as planned. I only have the half-assed, semi-thought out, above mentioned plan. And plans and me don't necessarily go hand in hand. I'm winging it, is what it comes down to.

So for now, STAS and I are staying together. You know, for the kids.

*I am!

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